


Born Again

by Agent_Fluff



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Chris is in on The Prank, Codependency, Dark, Drug Use, Emotional Manipulation, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-05-22 21:18:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6094286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agent_Fluff/pseuds/Agent_Fluff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris never left Josh's side since the night they lost Hannah and Beth to Mount Washington. Josh approaches him with the idea of getting a little payback that quickly spirals out of control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be dark, depressing, and fucked up in eight different ways. This story is everything I believe Until Dawn could've been.

Chris took in a shaky breath of the crisp spring air, adjusting the box of his things in his hands. It’s been two months since Hannah and Beth disappeared and only a week since their empty-casket funeral.

 

Chris knew they shouldn’t have had one, it’d demolish any hope lingering between the remaining Washington family, but the police force encouraged them. Said it was damn near impossible for people to reappear after having been missing over 72 hours.

 

Josh had cried on his shoulder the night his parents told him they were having a funeral and wouldn’t let him leave for the next week. Chris had ditched most of his courses since Hannah and Beth’s disappearance, which he blamed himself heavily for, and his professors were becoming less and less accepting of his excuses for not showing up. At the rate he was going, he’d have to drop out, or at least drop the classes that required attendance. It wasn’t like spending the week with Josh and not leaving the house was a hinderance.

 

For Josh’s sake, he had to at least pretend like he cared one way or another about his classes. If Josh figured out he was skipping course work and possibly dropping out, he’d have an even bigger meltdown than he was having currently.

 

Twas best to leave that ticking time bomb to go off some other day.

 

For now, Josh needed him. He only had one other person to turn to besides Chris. Sam, while she listened well and was very understanding, didn’t know how to comfort Josh. She didn’t know how to rock him in her arms until Josh’s sobs quieted like only Chris could.

 

Chris wouldn’t describe himself as the jealous type, but he was the _protective_  type, and Josh was the person he was the most protective of.

 

And if Josh was afraid of being alone, he was never going to leave his side.

 

Chris stared up at the looming front door of the Washington Estate. It’d always felt intimidating, but it felt more so now than ever.

 

The door was unlocked, as Josh had texted him, and he let himself in. The estate felt so hollow and cold after what happened at Blackwood. Laughter used to fill the halls and the main living room would be drenched in warm light. The halls only echo his footsteps as he walked down to Josh’s room.

 

Chris can almost hear phantoms of Beth’s bounding steps as she tries to surprise tackle him during all of his visits. She’d gotten pretty good at that recently.

 

He casted a glance back over his shoulder to find only the empty shadows of the house staring back at him.

 

Chris dropped his box of stuff in the far corner of the room and sat on the bed while he watched Josh set up the xbox for some gaming on autopilot. Whenever Josh’s emotions overwhelmed him, he liked to take out whatever he was feeling on animated zombies. Which Chris much preferred to the times where he’d just disappear for days on end because he couldn’t handle his emotions.

 

They sat in silence for about half an hour Chris dared to break the fragile bubble around them.

 

“You doing ok?” He asked, voice raspy and shaken.

 

During the week he’d spent at Josh’s house living solely off of Josh’s spare clothing and whatever food they managed to scrounge up for themselves, Chris had resolved himself to essentially move in with Josh at the Washington Estate, at least for the time being.

 

He was worried about Josh living on his own while his parents were out in god knows where filming god knows what, and, frankly, he didn’t want to be left alone to the emptiness of his mother’s house.

 

Josh had joked that it was too soon in their relationship to be doing that, but Chris knew he didn’t mean it. They’d been dating secretly for over a year now and already had plans of getting an apartment together.

 

That just felt like the right step, for both their relationship and emotional needs.

 

The time came that Chris needed to go back to his mother’s house to gather his things, as well break the news to her that he wasn’t going to be returning. Not that she gave a shit what he did anymore. She stopped caring about anything once dad took off.

 

Josh had let him go for the night reluctantly, promising he’d be okay.

 

They both knew he was lying.

 

Chris had spent the night at his mother’s house crying as he packed everything into a box.

 

Why had his life fallen apart so easily? Why did his mother have to turn to drugs after his dad left? Why had he been forced to raise himself and become the eye of the storm for everyone else? Why wasn’t he allowed to be weak and fall apart like any other kid his age? Why did Josh, of all people, have to lose Hannah and Beth?

 

The questions had eaten at his conscious and staved him from sleep, cheeks stained with the cooling trails of his tears. His voice had given out sometime after midnight and all that came out were noiseless croaks.

 

Chris shook the memory of the past week away, returning to reality set before him, and stared numbly at the screen in front of him as more and more zombies hoarded them. He wanted to drown out his grief. If only it were possible.

 

Josh nodded listlessly. “I’m fine.”

 

Chris knew he wasn’t but decided not to press the issue. Josh would talk when he was ready. “Have you slept any since I left yesterday?”

 

“No.”

 

Another thick silence fell between them, broken a few minutes later by Josh’s hollow laugh as he paused their round of Call of Duty.

 

He turned towards Chris, a wild look in his eyes, in sharp contrast to the numb expressions he’d been hiding behind before. “You know what'd be fucked up and amazing at the same time? A revenge prank on the fuckers that pulled that shitty prank on Hannah. Make them feel everything she and Beth felt that night. Strap ‘em to ropes and make ‘em little puppets for a night of pure terror. Wouldn't that be great?”

 

Chris shot Josh a confused look. What brought this sudden change in attitude?

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

Josh face softened into a smirk, a welcome sight to the manic look he’d worn before. “I'm saying we invite everyone up to the mountain again for the annual getaway and scare the blue out of their jeans. Payback.”

 

Chris rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know, Josh. Sounds kind of...mean.”

 

“What they did to _Hannah_  was mean, Chris.”

 

He knew he had to be the voice of reason between them, but the temptation to know what Josh had in mind was just too strong.

 

“Ok, suppose I went along with your prank. What did you have in mind?”

 

Josh’s smile stretched further across his face than Chris had ever seen it in the past two months, and Chris aimed to keep that look coming back. “That’s more like it, Cochise!”

 

Josh shifted himself on the bed so he was fully facing Chris.

 

“I’m thinking we could rig the lodge to look like Hannah and Beth are haunting them to get their revenge. It’d be so easy. I’ve picked up a lot from the sets dad’s worked on. Then we invite everyone up to the mountain like nothing’s wrong, maybe even throw in the excuse that it’s to mourn them or “it’s what they would’ve wanted”. Let them believe that Hannah and Beth’s vengeful spirits are after them and then, viola! The trick is revealed and it turns out to be us all along!”

 

Chris sat silent, staring at the controller in his hands. What was he supposed to say to that? It was sort of fucked up to do something like that, to bend over backwards to scare the shit out of their friends, and yet he felt a twinge of giddiness thinking about doing something like that.

 

“We wouldn’t actually hurt anyone, right?” Chris’ voice came out meek and uncertain. He didn’t want anyone else getting lost or hurt on that mountain. It’d claimed enough victims already.

 

Josh shrugged. “Only emotionally.”

 

It’s not like they were going to do something _too_  extreme, right? Just scare them a little bit, have a little “gotcha!” moment, and then have a laugh after everything was done. Yeah. That could work.

 

If it helped them move on, Chris was down for it.

 

“I’m in.” He agreed tentatively. Josh’s wide smile stayed with him through the day until he passed out from exhaustion.

  
Chris stroked Josh’s hair idly while Josh snored away. He was so gonna regret the decision to go through with this prank and dread settled in him. If it made Josh smile again, that in itself was worth whatever hell he'd have to pay.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a week since Chris has moved in with Josh. Things are getting better, slowly but surely. Josh proposes an extra step to their plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so cheesey I hope you like it. There's some softcore smut in this chapter, just so you're aware.

Chris has been over at Josh’s house for two weeks now. The Washington Estate still feels cold and empty, but less so than it did before. Josh seemed to warm up after Chris agreed to his plan; he was laughing and smiling more often. _Genuinely_  laughing. It felt so good to hear Josh’s laugh after such a long period of silence.

 

Chris sat beside Josh on his desk, munching away at his sandwich. Josh had informed him that his parents were going to be gone a lot longer than originally expected, which meant they had at _least_  the next six months all to themselves.

 

Chris wonders if Josh’s parents even care about him anymore. They don’t call to check in, weren’t there once for him during his breakdowns, and practically abandoned him after the loss of his sisters. All they seemed to care about was throwing themselves head first into their work to avoid their own guilt.

 

He took another bite of his sandwich, glancing at Josh over his shoulder. They’d been working out the kinks in their prank and getting the outline of everything they needed together. Josh was currently working on designing the rigging for some of the props they’d need.

 

“You know what we could do? We could double the emotional pain of a certain person. A prank was pulled on Hannah because she was crushing on Mike, so why not do something similar to that?” Josh suggested, sketching what looked like a zombified version of Beth.

 

Chris took a moment to swallow before answering. “We’d have to bring someone else in on the prank to accomplish that.”

 

“No, we wouldn’t.”

 

Josh stood from his seat and moved in-between Chris’ legs. He plucked the plate from Chris’ hands and set it down near his doodles on the desk.

 

“I’ve got it on good authority that Ashley has a crush on a certain blonde haired cutie.”

 

Chris nearly choked on his own spit.

 

“Ash has a crush on Sam?” He sputtered.

 

Josh chuckled darkly, leaning further into Chris’ space. “Chris, I love you, but sometimes you can be as observant as a brick wall.”

 

Chris snorted. “Aw, you love me?”

 

“Shut up.”

 

Josh placed a chaste kiss to his lips. “What do you say? Willing to play the role of heartbreaker in the revenge prank?”

 

Chris frowned. “Isn't that what started the problem originally?”

 

“It doesn't count if it's for revenge. They cancel out.” Josh shrugged, a small hint of genuine worry masked under his cockiness.

 

A heavy silence fell between them. Chris reached a hand out to touch Josh’s cheek in an effort to comfort that he shied away from. Josh’s mask seemed to unravel before him, leaving a frail young boy in its wake.

 

“Do you think what we’re doing is right?” Josh asked, voice timid and eyes avoidant. “Should we even be doing this?”

 

No. They shouldn’t be. But he’d be damned if he was going to tell Josh that and watch his smile disappear again.

 

“Yeah. I don’t think it’s too much to have a revenge prank.” Chris consoled, folding his arms against his chest. He wanted to reach out to touch Josh’s cheek, to pull him in close to his chest. He wanted to let him know it was ok. They’d be okay.

 

“What about Ashley?” Josh whispered meekly. A rolled down his cheek that Chris so desperately wanted to wipe away with his thumb.

 

“What about her?” Chris asked softly. 

 

“Should we break her heart like that? Chris, I--” Josh swallowed thickly and let the sentence hang in the air between them.

 

Chris reached out for Josh and placed his hand against his cheek. Josh’s fingers twined around his wrist as he leaned into the touch.

 

“I don’t know what to do.”

 

Chris wiped at the tears forming at the edge of his eye. They shouldn’t be doing this. They shouldn’t be breaking someone’s heart for fun. Fighting fire with fire never did any good.

 

And yet.

 

“What do you _want_  to do?” Chris queried patiently.

 

“I want to go through with it, but part of me knows that it’s not right to take it so far. I want to do this, Chris. I want to.” Josh croaked out. His sobs were noiseless in an effort to keep Chris from watching him fall apart again. Chris wished he’d stop doing that to him.

 

“Then let’s do it.” He answered, stroking Josh’s hair soothingly.

 

Josh shook his head vigorously and pulled away from Chris’ touch as if it had burned him. It hurt to watch him withdraw and shrink in on himself again, but he couldn’t force Josh into his touch without fear of losing him again.

 

“I can’t drag you down with me. I’ll do anything, but not that. Just forget I even made a plan to do this. Pretend you don’t know and play the sick card when I invite everyone back up. Please, Chris.” He pleaded. 

 

Josh’s eyes were wide with fear, and Chris could see the gears turning in his head to reshape his prank to cut him out. He had to derail this thought right now. He wasn’t going to let Josh shut himself into his room and slip through his fingers.

 

Not if he could help it.

 

“I won’t leave you, Josh. I’m not gonna turn my back on you now.” Chris affirmed. He watched Josh wipe away at the tears in his eyes. This prank--it was careless. It was cruel to crush someone’s heart because they liked the wrong person. They had to go through with this, and Chris knew he had to be a part of it. He’d watch the whole world burn if it meant Josh could smile brightly again.

 

“I can’t lose you too.” Josh’s voice broke at the end of his sentence and he collapsed into Chris’ arms. Chris pulled him closer to his chest, rubbing soft circles into his back with each sob that escaped Josh.

 

“You won’t.” Chris murmured. He kept Josh locked in his embrace for as long as he could. Josh needed to let it out. Let all the pain and anger over the loss of his sisters and the betrayal of his friends. He needed a purge like this.

 

Josh pulled enough away from Chris to look him in the eye. Chris choked back his own sob from just how broken Josh looked before him. He didn’t say anything about it, letting Josh find his own words.

 

But the words never came.

 

Josh gently slotted their lips together in a soft and slow kiss. It held everything Josh wanted to say within it and said it better than Josh himself could’ve. Chris wrapped his arms around Josh’s shoulders but made no attempt to deepen their embrace.

 

This was nice. Slow and loving. Tender, almost.

 

Josh bumped his nose against Chris’ with a small smile and dove back in for a hungrier kiss. Chris let him explore his mouth with his tongue without putting up much of a fight. They stayed joined lazily kissing for god knows how long. Chris lost track of time after the first kiss.

 

“Chris?” Josh whispered, voice hoarse.

 

Chris ran a hand tenderly through Josh’s hair. “Yeah?”

 

“I--I love you.”

 

Chris’ hand stilled in Josh’s hair and a soft smile tugged at his lips.

 

“I know.”

 

Josh shook his head, laughter beginning to bubble out of him. Chris found himself mirroring Josh’s growing smile. Josh didn’t say anything else, only twined their fingers together with a soft hum. He lead Chris to his bed, where Chris straddled his hips.

 

Josh ran his hands up and down Chris’ sides, silently questioning if he was going to take the shirt off this time.

 

Chris nodded, peeling his shirt off slowly and discarding it onto the floor. Josh’s hands returned to his hips and inched up his stomach towards the two scars the marked his chest. Chris took in a sharp breath when Josh ran his fingers over his mastectomy scars. He was still weary about people touching and seeing them, but with Josh it felt different.

 

_This time_  felt different.

 

Chris climbed off his lap and lay against the mattress in wait. Josh made quick work of the rest of Chris’ clothes, leaving him exposed. Chris hummed in approval when Josh flopped on top of him in the same state. 

 

He ran his hands over Josh’s shoulders, admiring the way his freckles accented his skin and how unique they were. Josh placed soft kisses to the corners of his lips, his cheek, and his jaw.

 

Chris closed his eyes at the familiar crinkle of the condom wrapper and waited for Josh’s guidance. He spread his legs easily enough and hummed as Josh slid into him.

 

They didn’t move together in a heat or passion, and Chris loved every bit of it. They stayed joined together, no rush in their movements. 

 

Josh’s hips rolled as a wave does on the beach: slowly, fluidly. Chris met his every movement, as a beach moves with the ocean’s pull.

 

Chris laughed to himself at such a corny comparison, but for the life of him, he couldn’t think of a better analogy for how they moved together.

 

Josh’s hips stuttered in their movements and the two came crashing back down to reality. Chris soaked in their afterglow, a soft sigh spilling from his lips. He loved being able to bask naked in the chill of Josh’s room after sex. It seemed to be one of the only times he had confidence in his body shape. 

 

Plus, the cool air felt nice on his sweat slicked and sticky skin.

 

Josh snuggled into his side, laying his head on Chris’ chest.

 

“Josh, we should really take a shower.” Chris whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of Josh’s head.

 

“After a quick nap.” Josh argued. 

 

Chris nudged Josh’s shoulder. He loved being wrapped up in Josh and knowing that he’ll never leave. He loved the feeling of being so relaxed with each other while naked under the sheets. 

 

He _didn’t_  love the feeling of being superglued to each other with dried sweat, and he really should get up to pee.

 

“You have five minutes.” Chris scolded as he threaded his fingers through Josh’s hair.

 

The room fell silent around him. Josh snored softly into his chest, exhale tickling his skin. Chris allowed himself to relax into the king sized mattress and enjoy the silence. It was a relief to be able to sit on this bed together in comfortable silence, rather than the thick, tense silence of two people trying not to fall apart that befell most of the week.

 

Chris’ phone chimed on the stand beside him and Josh stirred. He plucked the thing off the table and unlocked it quickly when he realized who texted him.

 

**_Text From Ashley_ **

_ i can’t focus in my house full of so many people. want to go to the library to study? _

 

**_Text From Chris_ **

_ can’t. i’m at josh’s place. _

 

**_Text From Ashley_ **

_how’s he doing?_ /

 

Chris contemplated what sort of answer he should give her. She’d probably tell Sam if Chris told her how well Josh has been doing, and that’d throw a massive wrench in their plans. A half lie would probably suit this best.

 

**_Text From Chris_ **

_ better. had a nice video game session and talked about his sisters a bit. _

 

**_Text From Ashley_ **

_ i feel horrible about what happened to hannah and beth. it was just a small prank, nobody was supposed to get hurt. _

 

**_Text From Chris_ **

_ i know. _

 

**_Text From Ashley_ **

_ how were we supposed to know she’d overreact and run into a snowstorm? i feel so horrible. _

 

Chris scowled at his phone screen. Overreact? Hannah didn’t overreact. Chris knows he probably would’ve acted the same way if Josh had done that to him after he confessed how he felt. Ashley only felt bad because Hannah wound up dead, not because she broke her friend’s heart.

 

**_Text From Chris_ **

_ what’s done is done, ash. there’s still a chance the police will find them. just keep hope. _

 

Josh stirred at his side and he laid the phone back down on the side table. He’d hoped to keep the damage of this revenge prank to a minimum, but this sealed the deal. Ashley needed to understand how shitty she was for doing this to Hannah. They _all_  needed to understand.

 

“What time is it?” Josh mumbled sleepily, scrubbing his eyes with his free hand.

 

“It’s about 5pm. And yes.” Chris answered absentmindedly. It took exactly two seconds after the words left his mouth before Chris realized Josh had been asleep during his debate over being the “heartbreaker” of their prank.

 

“Yes? Yes what? Did I talk in my sleep again? I hate when that happens.” Josh knitted his brows together, sleep obviously still clouding his thoughts.

 

Chris sank back into the mattress and ran his fingers through Josh’s hair. Josh nuzzled his head into the crook of Chris’ shoulder. 

 

“Well I, for one, think it’s cute.” Chris laughed.

 

“You think everything I do is cute. That’s an unfair bias.” Josh faux whined.

 

“Guess you’re right.” Chris conceded. He sat himself upright, earning himself an annoyed huff from Josh. “I’ll get the water going. Join me in bit?”

 

“Yeah.” Josh sank back down into the pillows of his bed with a sigh.

 

Chris left the room before Josh could entice him to stay any longer. He stepped into the soothing spray of the water with a satisfied hum. Josh joined him within a few minutes and lathered Chris’ hair.

 

Chris watched the shampoo drain from his hair in silence. Josh pressed tight behind him, head propped on his shoulder.

 

“Chris?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

Josh went silent. Chris could feel his jaw working to form words that weren’t quite there. 

 

“Have you--have you thought about the addition to our plan?” He whispered, unease woven in the spaces of his words.

 

“I'll do it. I'll be the heartbreaker in our prank. From what little time we’ve spent together, it seems she doesn't really understand why the prank was wrong. She thinks Hannah overreacted. Let's prove her wrong.” Chris replied without another thought.

 

Of course he’d do it. For Josh, he’d do anything.

 

“For real?”

 

Chris shrugged. “Yeah. I'm not happy that we’ll have to keep our relationship under wraps for another eight months, but I think I can manage.”

 

“You have no room to talk about suffering. I'll have to watch you flirt with Ashley.” Josh scoffed, placing his head back onto Chris’ shoulder. Chris knocked his head against Josh’s playfully.

 

“You're still the one I'll be coming back to at the end of the day.” He assured, turning around to face his lover.

 

Josh prodded him awkwardly in the shoulder.

 

“You better.”

 

Chris wrapped Josh in a tight hug. They’re going to be okay. They’d be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be posting a deleted scene from this chapter on my tumblr account @agent-fluff. I'll add the exact link to the post when it's up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Practice makes perfect, as they say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for drug use mention. Also, a Mr. Robot nod.

People say that the Devil doesn’t appear in flames, but he appears as everything you want. He’ll be irresistible and slowly ask you to do things for him until you’re in over your head and your soul’s on the line.

 

Chris thinks they were on to something.

 

It’s been a full month since he sold his soul away to the Devil. 

 

With the day of the prank creeping closer and closer up on him, the more he knows just how much they’d be giving up to go through with this. How much of _themselves_  they’d be giving up.

 

Yet he can’t find it within himself to tell Josh that their plan is wrong. He can’t tell him, because Chris is cursed with selfishness, and high on Josh’s returning smile. He’s addicted in the worst way, and he’s loving every second of it.

 

“We have to go again. Our plan’s not gonna work if you can’t flirt with Ashley.” Josh’s remarked, frustrated.

 

They’ve been working on Chris’ flirting since he’d agree to play the “heartbreaker” role.

 

It’s not that he _can’t_  flirt with Ash--he just doesn’t _want_  to. He wants to flirt with Josh like they used to before their world got flipped upside down. Before Josh shattered and Chris had to pick up his pieces.

 

“You should probably act the way you did before--before we started dating.” Josh added.

 

Chris faked a smile to cover up how much his heart hurt at the memory of better days. He longed for that time when they were dancing around each other and it was their only care in the world.

 

Now all he cares about is seeing Josh happy, even if that meant destroying himself in the process.

 

“I’ll try.” Chris responded firmly.

 

He sucked in what he was actually feeling and put steel walls around it. He faked his awkwardness and flirting as best he could, if only to have this practice session over with.

 

“Chris, what’s wrong?” Josh asked abruptly.

 

Chris stared at him blankly and composed what he was going to say in response that all boiled down to an empty: “Nothing. I’m fine.”

 

“You stopped talking halfway through your line. That’s not like you. What’s wrong?” Josh asked again.

 

He reached out to touch Chris’ cheek, but Chris shied away. Josh pulled his hand back, and Chris watched as hurt, worry, and confusion began to shadow Josh’s expression.

 

“If--if this is making you--we can stop, if you want.”

 

Chris let the words roll over him. Josh was concerned about him, when it was supposed to be the other way around. He couldn’t let his own emotions get in the way of his goal.

 

So he shoved down everything until he numb and unfeeling.

 

“No. It’s fine. I’m fine.” Chris remarked with a fake smile.

 

Josh shifted across from him, worry still plastered on his face.

 

“Chris, I--if this is too much for you to handle--”

 

“It’s not, Josh. I’m fine. Let’s go again.”

 

Josh watched him suspiciously before nodding and starting up a new practice Ashley conversation. They made it through a few minutes before Josh stopped them again.

 

“Tell me what’s wrong, Cochise.” He asked expectantly.

 

He was ok. Josh would be ok, so he’d be ok. What he felt didn’t matter so long as Josh was happy. That’s what friends do, isn’t it?

 

“I said I’m fine.” Chris replied absently as he gave Josh another fake smile.

 

“Bullshit. I know that look, I’ve _worn_  that look, and I _know_  you’re not fine. Stop lying to me, Chris.” Josh practically yelled. Tears were forming in Josh’s eyes and Chris cursed himself for being the cause of his distress. 

 

Josh came first. Always had, always will.

 

He shoved his emotions down as far as he could and searched for anything he could say to make Josh feel better. His tongue was heavy and his throat was closing, but he tried desperately to soothe the pain his hesitance had caused.

 

Josh shook his head with a hurt sigh. He stood and offered a hand to Chris.

 

“C’mon. Let’s go get the stuff we need from Home Depot. We can--we can work on this some other time.”

 

Chris nodded his head absently and followed Josh’s lead out to the car. He did his best to lighten the mood and clear the air between them, but he could tell Josh was still upset.

 

Josh is a good actor, but he's not good enough.

 

Chris knew there was nothing he could do to fix what he'd caused at that point. He'd just have to ride out his own mistake until Josh came around.

 

Josh cranked up the volume on the radio as they drove in thick silence to the store. Chris looked out the window absently as trees and houses pass by.  People walking their dogs and jogging, as though untouched by the darkness of the world. He envied them and their naive sense of the world. What he wouldn’t give for that kind of blissful ignorance…

 

Chris was barely aware of the world around him when they reached the Home Depot parking lot. He didn’t want to think about what their world would be like if Hannah and Beth were still alive. He didn’t want to think about what Josh and he would be doing right now if that night hadn’t ended in tragedy.

 

Josh threaded his fingers loosely in his with a shy smile that Chris returned. Holding hands always made his heart swell with warmth, in the same special way it felt to return home after a cold winter’s day.

 

Chris breathed a sigh of relief as Josh’s enthusiasm for their project began to unfold. He was no longer hurt by Chris’s evasiveness, as far as he could tell, and that was good. He just had to keep that happy smile on Josh’s face and all would be well. 

 

Perfect, even.

 

By the time Josh rang everything up at the checkout, his smile spread from ear to ear, and his eyes gleamed with euphoria. Chris wished he could’ve taken a polaroid of that perfect little moment where the weight of the world was finally free from Josh’s shoulders.

 

“How do your parents let you spend all this money without asking what’s up?” Chris asked, genuine curiosity seeping into the emptiness he felt.

 

“They don’t really care as long as I don’t spend it all, and I don’t buy drugs.” Josh shrugged.

 

“But you do buy drugs.” He whispered, more to himself than anything.

 

“What they don’t know won’t hurt them. Besides, it’s not anything hardcore. Just a little weed here and there.” Josh replied easy enough, and Chris knew it’s just one of many rehearsed line he’s given out a number of times.

 

He also knew Josh was lying about his drug use. The day he found Josh’s pill crusher and morphine stash was one of the worst he can remember.

 

Chris had waited in Josh’s room for him to get home from whatever outing he’d been on. He’d been messing around with one of the books on his bedside table when he accidentally knocked it off. It fell to the floor, cover flying open and pills spilling out of its hollowed out pages in all directions. He’d just stared at the tiny white pills, refusing to believe they were Josh’s.

 

Chris had gathered up all the pills and hastily replaced the book on the table. He’d paced around Josh’s room, torn between crying or throwing something. He’d wanted to flush all those pills down the toilet and never think of them again, but he knew that wouldn’t do anything. It never worked for his mother. 

 

Visions of Josh lying on his mattress, eye glossed over and phone in hand as it rang Chris’ number endlessly had filled his mind. All he could think about was finding Josh, skin pale and life draining from him.

 

He’d never brought up his findings with Josh. Never confronted him on it.

 

And he didn’t intend to do so now.

 

Josh finished loading the car up with their supplies, and Chris hopped into the passenger seat. He took Josh’s free hand up in his as they drove back to the Washington Manor, a small wave of contentment washing over him.

 

This was nice: sitting in the car with Josh driving and the radio playing a soft indie tune with their hands threaded together. It felt like nothing had changed. 

 

It felt right again.

 

Chris breathed a small sigh of disappointment when the ever looming presence of the Manor casted its cold shadow over Josh’s car as he cut the engine. The bubble of serene innocence had popped, and now he was forced to face his reality.

 

Josh handed him a few of the bags to carry in while he handled the rest. Chris walked in a daze to the front door, feeling not quite like himself. He nearly tripped on two large boxes sitting carelessly on the front porch.

 

“They’re finally here!” Josh yelled excitedly, kicking the box out of the way to open the front door for Chris. “Here, take these in. I’ll bring in the boxes.”

 

He did as told, confused as to what Josh could order that would warrant such large boxes. Josh lugged the boxes into the house, slicing the sealing tape with a manic smile. He pulled out two life sized dummies with no real marks or distinguishing features.

 

“Josh.” Is all Chris could get out. He has so many questions he wanted to ask, but couldn’t seem to voice them, trapped behind the lump in his throat.

 

“I didn’t think they’d get here this fast. Ordered them as soon as you gave the okay to take our prank to the next level.” Josh added excitedly.

 

Chris just smiled in response. He doesn’t remember telling Josh that. He doesn’t care. It made Josh happy, and that’s what he cared about. Prank be damned.

 

“You gonna explain how you’re rigging these? Last time I asked all you gave me was a shrug and ‘I’m still working on it’.” He remarked, folding his arms across his chest.

 

Josh’s face lit up with a sick kind of determination, the type of smile you’d expect a killer would wear as he watches the life flee slowly from their victim.

 

“Fishing wire, one of us, and a few voice recordings. We’ll tie the fishing wire to the wrists, head, and legs. We’ll each control a dummy and pull on the strings depending on what we want them to do. As the fuckers walk through the cabin, they’ll encounter all the different traps we set up to make them believe the house is haunted. I’ll strap some video cameras and speakers to them so we can capture their horror as they see their dead friends screaming to them for help.” Josh explained, expression growing darker and darker with each word spoken.

 

He never mentioned recording their reactions.

 

“There’s something else we need to talk about.” Josh added, setting the dummy in his lap carefully onto the living room couch as if he already believed it to be his sister. “I want them to feel more than remorse. I want them to feel the terror and fear my sister’s felt when they ran through the woods. I want them to pay.”

 

Chris took in a shaky breath. Josh’s happiness is what mattered most. That was all he needed to remember.

 

“What did you have in mind?” Chris queries, voice calm despite his inner shakiness.

 

“I want them think there’s a killer on the mountain. I want to make it seem like Hannah and Beth were--” Josh cut himself off, shaking his head. “I want them to fear for their lives. I want them to be scarred thinking about what they did last year.”

 

Chris took in another breath, slower this time. This wasn’t right. This was going too far. Making them feel guilty and ashamed was one thing, but to make them so terrified they’d never trust the two again? Did their prank on Hannah accidentally resulting in two deaths they didn’t intend warrant such a reaction?

 

No. It was fucked up, but a darker part of Chris whispered they deserved it. They had to pay for what they did to Hannah and Beth. They had to pay for what they did to Josh.

 

They had to pay.

 

“How would we do that?” He asked, hoping and praying that the explanation would make it seem less fucked up to him so he could say yes and keep Josh’s smile a common sight.

 

Josh smiled deviously. Chris can almost picture his expression as a scene in a horror movie, teeth covered in blood and flesh from the body he just tore apart as he looks derangedly at the audience like they’re next.

 

“We place different clues around the house: a worried voicemail from the Police Chief, newspapers saying a killer might live on the mountain, an FBI’s Most Wanted poster with the picture of the suspect torn off, stuff like that. We’ll leave notes around that are threats against my family that describe killing off Hannah and Beth. They’ll think there’s someone on the mountain waiting for them. We’ll split off at different times and loom around the mountain just within view of the lodge wearing disguises and drive home their conclusions.” He explained, pacing around the room with grand gestures.

 

“Isn’t that going a little far?” Chris asked without thinking. He cursed himself as Josh’s smile began to fade.

 

Josh grabs a hold of his shoulders, eyes wide and manic.

 

“Think about it, Cochise. Think about how satisfying it’d be to watch the same terror that my sister’s felt light up their eyes. Think about how satisfying their reaction will be when it’s revealed that it’s just us.” He pleaded.

 

“Our friends would never trust us again.” Chris thought aloud.

 

Josh’s grip on his shoulder tighten, a dark and angry expression taking over him. “They’re not our friends. Who cares what they think of us. They’ll feel everything Hannah and Beth felt, and that’s all that matters. We don’t need them.”

 

Chris sighed. “What about Sam? She doesn’t deserve this. She tried to stop the prank.”

 

Josh let go of his shoulders, turning his back to him.

 

“She didn’t do a very good job of it.”

 

A silence fell between them, strained with the anger enveloping Josh. He didn’t have a choice.

 

“We keep Sam out of it, and I’ll do it.” He offered, voice solid. An emptiness settled within him as he could actively feel his morality leave him.

 

Josh faced him again. He said nothing, crushing their lips in a hard and rough kiss.

 

“Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to address the fact that Josh doesn't have the same feeling about the prank he did in the original Until Dawn. As someone that's created 2 revenge plots almost spot on to what he did (three years before the game came out, I might add), I know the feelings that go into creating something like this. 
> 
> The prank starts out in a place of "haha gotcha!" with the plan to only make the house look haunted and becomes more dark and threatening with the addition of each sinister part. It's no longer a revenge prank.
> 
> While you're watching Chris' mental deterioration, you're also watching Josh's.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris' guilt and co-dependence is starting to eat him alive. The boys take a road trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it took me awhile to update!!!!! I'm sorry!!!!! I promise I'm not done with this fic. I will see this one to the end.

Four months since Hannah and Beth have been gone. Four months since his life was ruined by the carelessness of his friends.

 

Two months since moving in with Josh. Two months since selling his soul to the Devil and turning his back on who he thought he was.

 

Counting the days that go by is all Chris has left to keep himself level now. Josh has been working steadily on getting everything ready to take up the mountain, so consumed by his work that they haven’t spoken to each other in three days.

 

He fished for a cigarette from his fresh pack, lighting it up with a new found ease. Chris took a drag, letting the smoke fill his lungs and roll out his mouth. His lips cracked into a faint smile as he leant against Josh’s windowframe.

 

There was a time in his life he’d made a vow never to end up like his mother. Vowed never to touch anything that could destroy his life with a single hook, but he’d already gotten addicted, without even knowing it. He’d went and gotten himself hooked on Josh Washington.

 

Josh came with certain edges, and _fuck_  did it get him high to watch those edges slice him up. He loved watching them cut so deep that they’d leave lasting scars, just like what he was doing now by letting Josh have his revenge. They’d never be able to go back to who they used to be, and Chris didn’t _fucking_  care.

 

Emptiness had become his companion besides Josh. It lingered and festered within him to the point where hours passed by and they felt like seconds. 

 

The cigarettes helped to make him feel again. The rush of nicotine was so warm and inviting while burning him from the inside out. If there was no going back, he was going to go all the way. He was going to shatter himself and rid the world of the pieces.

 

Chris took another drag of the cigarette, exhaling through his nose.

 

Josh seemed to have the same prerogative as well. He hides behind his fake smile and sweet words to hide the fact he wants himself dead. Chris has seen the scars lining his arms, his legs, and his stomach. He’s seen the new ones that line his waist as well, but won’t acknowledge them until Josh’s ready. 

 

Chris knew he picked up the habit again for the same reason he’d picked up smoking: to feel whole again, as if some fundamental part of them hadn’t died with Hannah and Beth so long ago.

 

He eased himself off the window frame, wandering through the frigid Manor going nowhere in particular. Minutes, maybe hours pass by, of aimless walking until he finds himself in the uselessly large Washington kitchen. 

 

Chris can almost hear Beth and Hannah’s laughter from the table as their parents cook an oversized breakfast. They used to have so many bright mornings down here, filled with blueberry pancakes and syrup and laughter. He remembers having his legs wrapped around Josh’s waist, pressed against the island for leverage, during one of his many parties.

 

Chris stopped at the same island, phantom touches from so long ago pulling at his shirt. He took another long draw, breathing out slowly, eyes fluttering shut briefly.

 

He watched as the sun began to rise, filling the kitchen with light and warmth, yet all Chris could feel was the phantom ache of something missing. His cigarette was down to only a stub now, and he put it out on his forearm. He doesn’t feel pain from the action anymore; his mother sought to that early on.

 

Chris flicked the stub into the trash and popped a few slices of bread into the toaster to take up to Josh. They had planned to drive up to the mountain today to finish setting up, though he doubted it was appropriate to be calling it a prank at this point.

 

Chris scratched at his arm, the itch of not having a cigarette in his mouth made his skin crawl. Shit. He was losing it, wasn’t he?

 

He pulled the toast out of the toaster and slathered them up with butter and apricot jelly, Josh’s favorite. It _was_  Josh’s favorite, at least. If Chris is honest with himself, he doesn’t think Josh has eaten anything this past week. He had shrugged off Chris’ attempts to get him to leave the room and eat, waving his hand dismissively with some bullshit line about not being hungry.

 

Chris knew he should’ve pressured him to eat something, or at least leave the room while he fixed something. He didn’t pressure him though, because he knew if he did Josh would close himself off even more than he already had.

 

Chris stared blankly at the toast as he trudged up the stairs. The pit of emptiness within him stirred, roaring for another cigarette to stave it with. Fuck. He was becoming addicted.

 

Chris turned the corner to Josh’s room, shrieking when he was greeted by a horrifying zombified version of Beth. He tossed the plate in his terror, scattering jellied toast and plaster shards everywhere. Josh laughed as he entered the hall, sidestepping the mess on the floor.

 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Chris asked angrily, willing his heart rate to slow.

 

“Just wanted to show off my finished product.” Josh smiled innocently, waving the Beth doll in his hands back and forth.

 

Chris glared at him, fighting back the urge to slap the mannequin out of his hands. He took a deep breath to level out his emotions.

 

Josh was having fun again. He was smiling and laughing, which was good. Chris needed to keep that smile there.

 

“I’m sorry.” Josh remarked softly, grin still wide and cocky.

 

“No, you’re not.”

 

“Ok, you caught me. C’mon, let’s go get this stuff packed up.”

 

Chris bored holes into Josh’s back with his eyes, grumpily stepping over the shattered mess for his pack of cigarettes. He fumbled to shake one out, lighting it up with shaky hands. He inhaled the smoke gratefully, blowing it out his nose after successfully filling his lungs.

 

Chris stared at his reflection in the vanity mirror hanging in Josh’s room. He was pale, _really_  pale, and he had dark bags under his eyes from his lack of sleep. His lips were chapped and starting to crack, signs of his own self-destruction beginning to grow too great to hide. Josh was going to start worrying about him. He would blame himself for dragging Chris into this, and Chris couldn’t have that. He’s fought too hard to keep that smile on Josh’s face, and he’s going to do everything in his power to keep it there.

 

Chris wrapped himself up in a black hoodie, shoving his cigarette and lighter into the pockets. He glanced at himself one last time in the mirror.

 

What would Hannah and Beth say if they could see him now? Would they yell at him for not sleeping? Would they yell at him for doing the one thing he vowed never to do, for turning into a hollow shell of the man he once was just as his mother had done so long ago?

 

“Chris, come on. I want to get there before dark.” Josh called up the stairs.

 

Chris took one last drag of his cigarette before crushing it against the small sliver of skin exposed on his wrist from where the jacket rolled up. He took the stairs two at a time, giving Josh a weak smile as he passed him out the door.

 

Chris cranked the a/c up in the car as they drove, hoodie practically burning him alive.

 

“Take the jacket off, man. Don't want to stop for gas until the drive back.” Josh laughed weakly, the strain of the past four months showing in his eyes.

 

“Can't.” Chris replied with a shrug. He couldn't take the jacket off or risk Josh seeing all his new burns and cuts. He didn't want Josh to worry about him. Josh needed to worry about himself.

 

Josh clenched his jaw and tightened his grip on the steering wheel as a thick silence fell between them. Chris watched Josh’s jaw move to say something then snap abruptly shut multiple times. The soft melody of the indie music station filled the car as if it was a soundtrack to their life story--meaningless but soothing.

 

“Did you do it again?” Josh asked softly, eyes shining over with tears that threatened to spill.

 

Chris looked away from him and out the window at the passing trees instead. He didn't want to watch Josh cry because of him.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Josh let out a shaky breath, a tear already spilling down his cheek. Chris moved to wipe it away with his thumb, but Josh bat his hand away.

 

Fuck, he'd messed up. He knew Josh would respond like this, but he hurt himself anyway because the pain was too sweet to give up. He'd been selfish, and now Josh was paying the price for it.

 

Chris sank further into his seat, pulling his hood up to cover his head to recede into himself. How was he going to fix this?

 

Josh gently pushed the hood back down, returning his gaze back to the road ahead. “Don't do that.”

 

Chris wasn't sure if he was referring to his self harm or hiding in his jacket, but he nodded his okay anyway. If it made Josh feel better, he'd do it. No matter what.

 

“You know you can talk to me. About anything.” Josh said shakily, readjusting his grip on the steering wheel with a nervous lick of his lips.

 

“Yeah.” Chris responds hoarsely, cracking a fake smile for Josh’s sake.

 

He seems to buy it, not pressing the issue any longer. A silence fell between them. Chris stared silently out the window, watching as the houses eventually melted away into only trees and patches of snow.

 

He needed to tell Josh something to make him feel better, something that will make him feel like he wasn’t being cast aside. 

 

But what?

 

Chris leaned back in seat and folded his arms across his chest. The truth seemed like the best idea to share.

 

“I’ve been having these...nightmares.” He remarked, voice barely two pegs above a whisper.

 

Josh’s response is immediate.

 

“What about?”

 

Chris looked down at his lap, wondering if he should just settle for giving him a half-lie instead. 

 

“Chris.”

 

He remained silent, unmoving. Josh pulled the car over abruptly with a murmured string of cuss words, throwing the car into park and spinning around in his seat to face him.

 

“Tell me what’s wrong, Christopher.”

 

Chris rolled his bottom lip between his teeth, letting out a small sigh of resignation. He dug his grave already, now he had to lay in it.

 

“I’ve been having nightmares about Hannah and Beth. Sometimes one, sometimes the other, sometimes both. I see Beth’s shambling corpse clawing out my heart. I see Hannah emaciated and monstrous chasing me through the woods on the mountain. I see both of them, just as they were that night, screaming and yelling that I did this to them.” Chris mumbled, words spilling out of him faster than he can stop them.

 

Josh sits in silence for a moment before placing a gentle hand on Chris’ shoulder.

 

“Chris, y--you’re not alone.”

 

“What?” Chris asked, brow furrowing.

 

Josh stared listlessly off into the woods beyond him. “I’ve been having nightmares too, ok?”

 

“Josh--”

 

“No, let me finish. I’ve seen much, _much_  worse.” He interrupted, gaze growing harder and tears glazing over his eyes.

 

“I see myself as a monster, tearing you limb from limb and eating all the soft and succulent flesh off your bones like it’s the only thing I was born to eat. I--I watch as you scream and cry and beg for me to stop, but I _can’t_  and--and--”

 

Chris gathered Josh in his arms as best he could, letting him get everything out on his shoulder. He didn’t know how long they sit like that, but it was worth every second and more for the grateful smile Josh gave him when he started the car back up.

 

The somber tone still sat heavy in the air between them, neither able to find something to say that could lighten the mood. Once they reached the familiar long winding road that lead up into the mountain, Josh spoke.

 

“You know what'd make this prank something special?”

 

Chris cocked an eyebrow up at him in question without speaking.

 

“What if I had some contraption set up that was made by the “killer” and forced you choose between me or Ashley, make her believe you chose to save her and let me die, then reveal at the end that it was rigged? Break her heart as badly as Hannah’s was by Mike.” Josh continued, words growing more and more heated by the minute.

 

Chris’ stomach rolled over. Fuck, that was going too far, wasn’t it? Making their old friends believe there was a killer on the mountain was one thing, but forcing one of them to witness a brutal death, regardless if it was fake, right before her eyes?

 

He bit his lip in thought. It’d make Josh happy, and that was enough to cast aside the last shred of his morals, right?

 

Fuck, he should stop lying to himself. The only real reservation he had about it was that he’d have to watch Josh die. Even if he was acting, even if it was fake, he never wanted to relive that nightmare again.

 

Chris finally spoke, voice as sheltered from his emotional turmoil as he could get. “I don't know. Shouldn't Jess, Mike, or Emily be receiving that kind of treatment? They were the cause of the original pranks.”

 

“They don't have their eyes set on you, Cochise.” Josh countered, glancing at Chris as they wound the narrow road up to the cabin.

 

Fuck, he was right. It wouldn't hit nearly as hard with the others as it would to Ash.

 

Chris bit his lip. “Fair point.”

 

“Besides. I have something extra special planned for them.” Josh added. Something sinister shadowed his eyes as he spoke, wicked grin stretching slowly across his face.

 

This was not the smile he wanted on Josh’s face. This wasn’t what he’d wanted

 

Chris let silence fall between them as he thought. If this was what he was going to do to Ash, a minor player in the prank, what was he going to do to the major ones short of killing them? _Was_  he going to kill them? No, Josh wouldn't do that. He wouldn't.

 

Chris spoke again once the cabin was in sight. “Will you tell me?”

 

Josh shook his head. “Not yet. Haven’t worked it all out yet.”

 

He took a deep breath in, centering himself back to Earth. He'd do this for Josh. Only for Josh.

 

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DID SOMEONE SAY FORESHADOWING

**Author's Note:**

> In no way am I saying Chris and Josh's relationship is healthy. It's going to get worse, they're going to get more dependent on each other, and there's no telling whether or not they'll have a happy ending.


End file.
